12/12/07
We drive toward town in the snow to do a few errands while listening to our Charlie Brown Peanuts Christmas soundtrack. Good times.
We pass by a thin rail Santa standing on a corner holding a small pine tree.
'Riah makes a statement:
"I heard on the news that they're trying to make it where Santa has to be 'FIT' and he can't say HOHOHO but HAHAHA!"
"WHAT!?" I exclaim.
'Riah: "Yeah, they're saying Santa's representing bad health and that his laugh 'HoHoHo' is a disrespect to women, so they're tying to change things."
"THAT'S JUST SICK AND WRONG" I say in disgust. "Man, I grew up on a FAT Santa with a belly like a bowl full of jelly and his jolly infectious laugh of HOHOHO's warming your insides."
It just isn't right seeing a kid sitting on a thin, lean Santa that belts out a "HAHAHA!"
Just isn't right politically, morally, emotionally, or what ever 'ally' one can think of.
Anyhow, last week we had taken a family poll of what we should leave out for Santa on Christmas Eve this year.
Some got a little creative. Some ideas may help make a thicker St. Nick slip down the chimney a little quicker, while some should keep him trim but not sickly.
LIST OF SNACKS FOR SANTA:
1. SALAD & WATER.
2. FRENCH BREAD & HUMMUS.
3. BOWL OF ALL PLAIN GREEN M&M'S FOR THE SANTA WHO WANTS THINGS A 'CERTAIN WAY.'
4. VODKA, STOGIES, AND A SEVERED TOE.
5. SNICKERS & A DIET PEPSI.
6. ONE WHOLE PIZZA WITH THE WORKS.
7. A COSMO & A PACK OF CLOVES.
8. GLASS OF CHOCOLATE SLIMFAST SHAKE WITH A POWER BAR.
9. FLAXSEED OIL & A COPY OF THE FAT FLUSH PLAN.
10. SUSHI.
